


rotting in the dark

by orphan_account



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Gen, I Made Myself Cry, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Not Happy, Sans Has Given Up, Sans Has Issues, Sans Needs A Hug, bad timelines implied/mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 01:27:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5478164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sans doesn't smile as much as he used to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i felt like shit today, and wanted to write something angsty.
> 
> so, lo and behold, this drabble was sprung forth.
> 
> enjoy the free suffering, my friends.

Sans doesn’t smile as much as he used to.

When he does smile, it looks forced around the edges.  Grins quickly morph into grimaces, and the happy guise he’d managed to display for so long; the Sans he  _should_ be; the Sans who could breathe easily throughout the day, the Sans who sleeps in late because he’s lazy, not because he's  _depressed_ ; is finally shattering.  Once before, he’d imagined a million tiny pieces of broken glass, all flying towards him at once, some of them sharp enough to inject themselves into his bones, others harmlessly bouncing back off.

This is what it feels like to him, every day.

It doesn’t stop.  As each moment passes, more and more pieces sink into his body, weakening his limbs, pushing him down until the pressure is too much to handle.  Some days, the glass comes down faster.  The shards are larger than before.

They hit him at a steady rate, the flow of glass never gaining momentum, and never losing it, either.

On the rare days where glass isn’t falling from the sky, he is left with an empty feeling in his chest.  He almost _wants_ it to hurt.  Just so he can be sure that there’s still a part of him that _cares_.

_(You’ve been hurt so many times._

_You can’t hurt anymore.)_

When this happens, he no longer has something to occupy his mind.

Nothing left to distract him from _remembering_ , _reliving_ everything he so badly wants to forget.

_(Remembering your brother’s scarf, nestled within a mound of snow and dust.)_

He feels like a useless heap of bones lying on a cold, dusty floor, infested with memories; the bad ones that keep him awake at night, creeping up into the depths of his skull, dirtying it with images of past timelines.  Constantly reminding him of his failures, reminding him of how he _couldn’t save them._

Those days are the worst kind of days.

Papyrus will knock on his brother’s door, begging for him to come out.  Sans will hear tears gathering in Papyrus’ voice as he grows more desperate.

Sans hates that he’s the cause of his brother’s worrying.  Papyrus shouldn’t have to worry about him in the first place.  And yet, he continues to let his despair take control his life, until practically everyone, even the most oblivious of monsters, has noticed that Sans is not okay.

 

He wonders if maybe, someday, the kid will stop resetting.

 

Maybe, when ~~(if)~~ that happens, he can feel fine again.

 

~~(But, deep down, you already know the answer to that question.)~~

 

When the timelines have finally stabilized, he'll smile more.  Maybe, after a while, they'll even become genuine.

 

~~_(You don't smile anymore.  You're tired of trying to at all.)_ ~~

 

**It'll all be fine.**

 

~~_(no it won't no it won't no it won't **no it won't** )_ ~~


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus just wants to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda not super confident about this chapter, but whatever. i tried.

If there's one thing Papyrus is sure of, it's that he knows a lot more than his brother thinks he does.

He almost wants to pretend to still be innocent, naive Papyrus, just so Sans won't have to worry about him noticing.

But acting like he doesn't know is hard.  One of the hardest things he's ever tried to do.

Eventually, the concern begins to show on his face, in his voice, in his movements; and Papyrus just can't hide it anymore.  He wants to help his brother.  Needs to, even if it'll worry Sans more that he's worrying about him.

So when Sans suddenly disappears, Papyrus is going to look for him, no matter what it takes.

 

And maybe, if he’s lucky, he’ll find Sans nearby in Waterfall, silently crying in a field of echo flowers.

Maybe he’ll find him at the CORE, eyes fixed on the great machine before him, its cogs and gears endlessly turning in a methodical pattern, puffs of steam escaping its rusted, metal lungs.  He looks like he’s reliving some memory.

Papyrus doesn’t remember what happened here, but he knows it’s something bad.

_~~(No one remembers.)~~ _

Or, maybe he’ll find him in the hallway leading up to King’s castle, resting on his knees, choking out incoherent words and phrases.  Papyrus steps a bit closer, walking as lightly as he can as to not make Sans aware of his presence.  He stops dead in his tracks as the next thing that comes out of his mouth is said a bit louder, enough so that he can hear.

_“I’m so sorry, Papyrus, I-I couldn’t save you.  I’m s-such a useless brother…”_

The words are like acid.

His body trembles, and it feels like he’s burning, _melting_ away.

For the first time in his life, Papyrus is _angry_.

Not at Sans.

But at _himself_.

For _not_ _noticing sooner, not helping sooner,_ for letting his brother suffer in silence for who knows how long.

Now, it’s time to fix things.

He runs over to the hunched body on the floor, and wraps his arms around its shivering form, initiating a tight, heartfelt embrace.  Sans yelps in alarm, but quickly calms down as he realizes who the person holding him is.

_(I-It’s going to be okay, Sans.)_

They stay like that for a long while.

 

That night, Papyrus carried his brother home.

They sit close together on the couch, the quiet, background noise of the TV giving them a calming sense of familiarity.

Before they go to bed, Papyrus insists on making him spaghetti.  Sans doesn’t resist, and they both end up eating a plate.

They fall asleep, huddled next to each other on Papyrus’s racecar bed.

Although Sans still hides things from him, and Papyrus still doesn’t have much of a clue as to what’s going on, he vows to try his best in ensuring his brother’s happiness.

For once, everything feels like it’s going to be okay.

* * *

**Reset.**

The coming morning, they don’t wake up in the positions they were in before.

Papyrus doesn’t remember anything from the previous night, and Sans can't bring himself to care anymore.

* * *

  _ ~~Sans doesn’t smile as much as he used to.~~_

**Author's Note:**

> a second chapter might be added if i feel like it. i have some extra stuff written that i ended up taking out of the story, and i'm planning on maybe turning that into a second chapter. so, that might happen in the next week or so.
> 
> please leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed! i'm a very anxious person, and if i barely get any feedback or kudos, my brain automatically goes into overdrive and causes me to make bad assumptions (e.g. "i didn't get much feedback/kudos; therefore, i must suck at writing.").
> 
> thanks for taking the time to read this!


End file.
